Welcome to the first installment of the Self Care series.
The first hour of my day is the most important hour of my life each day. It is during this hour that day’s tone is set intentionally and internally. Over the next few weeks we will discuss the activities, mindset, and habits commonly (and uncommonly) used to custom build one hour each day that feeds body, mind, and soul.
Today however, let’s discuss why the first hour each day is important to creating a healthy lifestyle and how to find that hour.
No one is a single emotion or dimension. We humans are complex beings with physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs. In order to nourish our needs as complex beings we need dedicated time each day to feed our selves.
Many women I speak with often state they feel selfish taking time to their selves. Men don’t seem to have this problem or struggle with the idea of caring for themselves. So many columns, magazines, and blogs that state women need to care for themselves so they can care for others. Yet the majority of men will never hear such a poor reason to care for themselves. Fill your cup for your own well being. Honor your own sacred Divine Feminine being because you have your own calling, your own independent destiny.
For one hour each day focus on you to show yourself the love you show to others without guilt. Reclaim your inner serenity, identity, and eternal Light. We do not feel shame for showing our children love. My dear one, your inner child is just like any other and needs love daily. That is why we set aside one hour a day. Because each human doing needs to spend time engaged in human being.
Gentlemen, often times men refer to self care as a “woman” thing. I grew up with a man’s man. He took an hour each morning to engage in meditative prayer and spiritual study. He saw the world on a navy ship, farmed, worked construction, and was known to lay a man flat for abusing a woman. He was also hard working, unyielding in kindness, and gentle. He showed great emotion without being consumed or controlled by any emotion – not fear nor pride. In the midst of the storm he was the calm center. He embodied the Divine Masculine. He is who taught me to care for my soul just as his father had cared for his own soul. Buck Williams had no idea what “Self Care” was. He called it “getting ready for the day”. He took the time to fill his cup, recharge his inner Light, and ceased human doing to engage in human being. Gentlemen – you already know this for the most part. If you haven’t already stepped into personal development this is your invitation to learn the art of showing kindness to your inner self.
How to Find the Time
I’m up between three and four every morning. No matter how late I stay up, no matter how tired I am the alarm goes off, the yoga matt, journal, and meditation bolster come out. This means no late nights on a regular basis. This means intense commitment to personal development, care, and growth in my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. That commitment is not only during one hour daily, but during all the hours filled with work, family, civic activities, and the minutia of life. My decision yesterday effects my time today. Today affects tomorrow and so on. We either commit to growth or we commit to stagnation.
When I was an Army wife I sent my husband off to work at six thirty and then began my morning care. Farming requires me to be up and out early. Therefore, my day begins an hour earlier than most people’s to accommodated my care. It’s not always easy. Some days I modify the routine to be more gentle and relaxing. Commit, but still be easy with yourself.
This one hour also becomes the anchor in the daily schedule. In a world full of circuses and flying monkeys this one routine can become the key to sanity. While I believe that a morning routine is best, some people do better having an hour before bed. Again, having this hour at the same time daily becomes the anchor point. For a while I actually broke it up in two half hour segments. It worked beautifully to have half hour book ends morning and night. If your mornings are slammed, experiment with bedtime self care.
Learn to say “no” not only to others who make demands, but to your inner victim/martyr as well. In order to engage in good self care both external and internal boundaries need to be in place. You would not allow someone to keep you from eating for the day, don’t allow anyone to distract or manipulate you into starving your inner core. If you find yourself consistently over extending yourself to the point of resentment and total lack of self care in all areas, please seek out a family counselor or life coach to assist in changing your habits. This is actually one of the best self care activities you can do for yourself. Growth and wellness is for everyone, and it’s a life long journey. Precious few reach total wellness, but many more reach a state of more Wellness than Illness. Reach for the Wellness unashamed.
I hope you found this helpful.
Until next time,