Trigger warning. I will be discussing Domestic Violence and miscarriage due to violence. .
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The first time I heard the phrase “Bloom where you are planted” I was in an abusive marriage. It was my “counselor” who told me that phrase. This was the worst piece of advise anyone can give someone who is trying to survive domestic violence. It was only days after that conversation that my husband put his hands on me and I lost my pregnancy at around six month.
People experiencing domestic violence cannot bloom where we were planted. If a seed is sown in rocky soil it sprouts and dies. If a seed is sown in good soil it blooms. Our hearts and lives are like seeds in soil. We each need the proper place to grow in life. This is something I see daily on the farm.
It was only after I transplanted myself to good soil that I could grow again, that I could even begin to think about becoming strong and blooming. It is only in this safe surrounding that I can have the nutrients needed to thrive. And I know how hard that transplant can be to make. And I don’t judge anyone who isn’t in that place yet.
My circumstances now are not exactly what I want. I am nowhere in my life where I thought I would be or dreamed of as a young woman. I still have major obstacles and hurdles to overcome, but in safe place I can put down my roots. NOW I am able to make the best of my situation and shine forth my inner beauty. NOW I am able to bloom where I am planted.
Please be careful what you say to those who are in the midst of domestic violence. One in four women and one and nine men experience intimate partner violence. Sixty percent of children are exposed to violence yearly. You most likely know more than one adult or child who deals with violence in their home. Please remember that platitudes do not nurture the soil of life and some places we should never be encouraged to grow.
If you are experiencing domestic violence, please seek help. In the US the domestic violence help 800-799-7233.
Moriah and the Flock