Enter the Stillness

When I was in grade school I found a book called Cowboy Wisdom. It was a collection of simple sayings. I read it one afternoon almost thirty years ago. One quote has stuck with me most of my life.

“Find a place you can enter the Stillness”

Over the busy decades packed with degrees, volunteering, businesses, farms, relationships, heartbreaks, triumphs, pain and joy I’ve clung to that saying. Somehow that simple phrase “enter the Stillness” called to me.

Whenever life became too hectic I’d stop and find a place to be still physically. I didn’t know it at the time, but that was the beginning of my meditation practice. We often think of meditation as just becoming still. However, becoming still is the first step to the result that is meditation.

Some people find the stillness within even amongst the chaos. I am not one of those people. I engage in a formal meditation practice early in the day just to find some stillness. Others find nature the best medium or a sacred space. No matter the environment one goal remains – to become physically, mentally, and emotionally still. Once we enter into that Stillness something amazing occurs. The spirit takes flight into meditation.

Kind Fibers

Boundaries Part One – What are They?

Profit recently learned to jump fences. Considering that Serenity is directly across the street from a small school this is not a good thing. Profit is a one thousand pound working steer in training to become an ox. At this point in his life he a half ton puppy who LOVES children.

He is actually quite beautiful when he jumps. If he was a horse he would be my hunter jumper prospect instead of my logging prospect. However, horse or ox, he needs boundaries to keep him and others safe.

Boundaries. That word gets used so many folks in trouble. Boundaries are a staple in healthy relationships. Boundaries ate not emotional walls with buttresses and ramparts to keep others out. They are not tools for manipulation or oppression. Boundaries are not an impediment to intimacy.

Boundaries are fence lines, property borders that allow each person the freedom and privacy needed to live and thrive. Profit in in his two acre pasture with his brother Asset. Next to him is my garden, the crop field, and the school. Each field and property has a designated use. I don’t plant my crop in Profit’s field and expect him to leave it alone. The children wouldn’t dream of walking through his pasture as a short cut to school any more than I would do laundry in my garden or set up house in the school. We each respect the free functioning of space. The children enjoy seeing the oxen. The oxen enjoy seeing the children. No one would enjoy Profit romping through a game of tag in the school yard.

How often do we do that in our relationships, though? How often do we think we have the “right” to jump into other people’s emotional or physical space and issues?

Boundaries are the fences that create safe, healthy relationships. Just like fenced fields, they have gates. When we decide to only walk into our neighbor’s field through an open gate does true relationship begin. When we enter their space as invited while respecting the edges of their emotional property real intimacy becomes possible.

Until next time,

Craft no harm,

Moriah and the flock

Monday’s Musings : I Can’t Do EVERYTHING

I was raised in a time of shifting ideology in this country. Traditional gender roles and second wave Feminism clashed in the media and stereotypes clashed around me as the child of a single mother in a male dominated industry. A male teacher told my mother he was shocked at how “well adjusted” I am considering I was from a “broken home”. Mom’s reply “children are only broken if you tell them they are broken”. Feel free to use that line.

I was fortunate enough to have my Papa. As a ninth generation Florida Cracker Native he believed a woman can do anything, but that doesn’t mean women should do everything. My grandmother and mom worked the fields alongside him. My grandmother was a better shot overall. We came from an older society where men and women had to be equals to survive. Women had to know how to shoe a horse and brand calves, and men had to know how to make dinner and clean house. There was never a doubt in my mind I could do or be in any occupation. My gender has nothing to do with my ability for accomplishments.

So, I went to South America. I rode horses, earned degrees, called out a few Vice Presidents at major companies, and was even a professional ballroom dancer for a while. I hike, train oxen, tramp through the woods on my own, work on my vehicles, shear, shoot, and I’ve even been known to wrangle a few orphaned calves. I can do anything.

And this, ladies, is the part some of you will dislike. Just because I can do it, doesn’t mean I should. In addition to my accomplishments I have broken my ribs numerous times, broken four vertebrae and fractured a hip. I have bone spurs, arthritis, tendon damage. I have a permanent brain injury from one too many concussions. My left shoulder has dislocated three times and my right ankle twice. I’m missing bones in that foot, too. Everyday is pain. Sitting is painful. Walking is painful. Breathing is painful. Laying down is painful. Attitudes have consequences, especially for adventurous girls.

Am I equal in value to a man? OF COURSE! But as I’ve aged I’ve realized just because I can do anything doesn’t mean I should do everything. I simply lack the physicality to do things that men can do, and I’m a pretty robust gal. As Paul pointed out in the Christian Bible “all things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial”.

At some point, overdoing physically becomes self harm. The “I can do anything” idea is dangerous without the tempering “but that doesn’t mean I should”. That holds true for everyone regardless of gender, because even in caring for ourselves physically we are all equal.

Until next time,

Craft no harm,

Moriah and the flock

Monday’s Musings: Saying “NO”

 

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Sunset over Serenity Cove

I’m finally over my back injury, thankfully. Spring is here almost and the yearly push to do is starting. In years past I’ve taken on more than I should. It’s easy to learn boundaries and saying “no” to other people’s demands. But that’s not so easy to say to yourself sometimes.

 

For several years I’ve started a garden during lambing and shearing season. I’m also usually out selling early produce, eggs, jam, honey, and other items this time of year at the farmer’s market. It’s busy. But last year I drove my health into the ground. I had an accident that led to internal injuries and an infected organ. I kept pushing. Lambi was ill, and I was up checking on her all hours of the night. I put in a garden, pushed through the early farmer’s market season, pushed myself training my ox, milking, managing and working cattle, etc. By June I was exhausted. I’m not a girl of twenty five, or even thirty five anymore, but I was determined to meet my short term goals.

It’s so easy to do that in life. We jump into something full force and don’t pace ourselves for the long haul. We use gusto instead of technique and consistency. Too often we are the hare and not the tortoise. This year, I’m the tortoise. Shearing, wool, teaching, and writing are my focus. Why? because long term that’s what brings me joy. Long term, that joy and passion bring my success. This year I’m saying “NO” to my little short term goals that don’t align with my long term goals. It’s not easy. I enjoy many of my short term endeavors. But ultimately, they don’t create the life I am intentionally creating.

I challenge you to look at the long term effects of your short term goals. Are you being the hare? Are you wearing yourself out mentally, physically, or emotionally following a path that cares for the moment and not for your life? It’s tough to admit sometimes that what we give our energy to isn’t working. But in the end, having the energy to care for our lives is the kindest thing we can do for ourselves, and for those we love.

In all you do craft no harm,

Moriah

 

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Same sunset from the ridge

 

 

Monday’s Musings: Quiet Time and Balance

My family has a wonderful tradition of easing into the morning. We get up, lounge in our house clothes, drink coffee, plan the day, pray, meditate, read, and linger in the stillness. Of course, this necessitates early rising, but it’s well worth it. Four a.m. is a wonderful time.

We also have a tradition of the mid day nap. Now, I’m not big on the napping part, but I am becoming a fan of the restful part as I slowly begin to age. We also wind down and relax before sleep. We chat, read, meditate, or in my case journal and listen to music while reflecting on the day.

You’re probably thinking we don’t get much done. Quite the opposite is true. Or that farm life must be exhausting and boring. It can be tough occasionally, but not really harsh. And farm life is never boring. No, my family has self care built into its fabric. This self care carries over into other areas.

It’s so easy to over extend ourselves into exhaustion, frustration, and self harm. We become tired, short tempered, and we slowly begin to compromise ourselves. This leads to compromises in how we interact with others, our work, and ultimately our life goals and dreams.

These past few weeks have been tough weeks. The freezes meant hauling water by hand, gallon after gallon to the animals. Now that it’s warm we are hauling tons of manure to the garden one wheelbarrow load at a time. My tablet’s power port broke. I have been staving off the flu going around and my body needed extra rest. I could have pushed myself into heroic self sacrifice mode, fixed the tablet, stayed up late writing and filming. But I chose a different path.

You see, I can’t live a life of kindness and integrity while denying myself kindness through self care, nor can I practice self care while ignoring my core responsibilities. Our culture seems bent on two conflicting modes at one time.

One is a never ending drive to produce. Our cell phones are constantly attached, we respond to emails and messages at every hour of the night and day, we work late, need overtime, and just can’t seem to turn off work and enjoy our relationships and time.

The other mode is play mode. We become so wrapped up in pleasure and rest that we end up just as burnt out emotionally as when we over extend ourselves. We sleep in, lounge to the point of ignoring responsibility, and act without consciousness towards others. To me, this also is self harm.

The challenge is to become mindful of work and play. To be within the moment while still practicing compassionate awareness of ourselves and others. To care for ourselves, to play, and to be productive with balance. It’s a choice, a habit of cultivating self directed kindness each day before we head into the world.

Until next time,

Craft no harm,

Moriah