Monday’s Musings: The Illusion of Control

Today (Sunday) was one of those days. I overslept, and while stumbling from my camper up to the main house I discovered the cattle were out. Cash had “the calves” out front and upon seeing me directed them towards to logging road leading up to the woods – and eventually Kentucky. I hollered at mom and ran after them. Remember that running… it’s a theme. Fortunately, Profit, my little Jersey Angus ox to be likes me happy and helped me bring them into the barnyard. He and his baby brother Asset stopped off at their stall and had a snack while the rest of the bunch returned to the momma cows. I went back to get the boys and discovered that Asset was bit, well, on his namesake. He’s also bit on the leg. I think either a dog or coyote got after the younger animals. I lean towards a dog running them.

Later, we made a hay run. It was pleasant. But we spent a great deal longer than expected. We came home, started chores, and then chased the cows and “the calves” across the river and through the woods. Okay, I chased the cattle. Finally, mom appeared with the grain in the front field (after I chased them there) and into the secured paddock they all went with plenty of hay.

They sheep were WILD. The excitement with the cattle really lit a fire under their silliness. It was actually pretty funny to watch. My rooster Kang and his hen got out. I finally ran him into a stall and closed the door. Nancy the Gander became separated from the rest of the gaggle. Again – running. I no sooner had him in when Dragland the head gander attacked him. Draggy is spending some alone time this evening. Somewhere during all of this Henny Penny, my blind hen, started having breathing issues. We rushed her into the house and performed the necessary vet care. She’s much better.

These are just the highlights from today. Today with plans of fencing, baking breakfast bars, gathering wood violets for homemade candies violets, clean sheets drying on the line, and a Sunday afternoon nap. We had a plan. We had poise. We had control.

No. We had a plan. We had poise. We had chaos. Control is only an illusion. I can call today a bad day, or I can call it today. Today was just today. I accept today just as it is, as it was, as it will be. I have no control over today. I have no control over tomorrow. By simply accepting today as today I have no real disappointment. While chasing the cattle I discovered a patch of dyer’s broom, a glorious patch of violets, a new red flower I’ve never seen before, and found out my old retired milk cow has allot more agility than I thought. Profit proved that he can listen even in trying circumstances. We have a new hay source.

The only control I have is to accept and allow each day, or to fight every moment and rob myself the pleasures that each moment bring. Control is only a feeling, and it’s a feeling born of fear and disappointment. I don’t know about you, but that’s not something I really want in my life.

Until next time,

Craft no harm

 

Moriah

Monday’s Musings: Saying “NO”

 

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Sunset over Serenity Cove

I’m finally over my back injury, thankfully. Spring is here almost and the yearly push to do is starting. In years past I’ve taken on more than I should. It’s easy to learn boundaries and saying “no” to other people’s demands. But that’s not so easy to say to yourself sometimes.

 

For several years I’ve started a garden during lambing and shearing season. I’m also usually out selling early produce, eggs, jam, honey, and other items this time of year at the farmer’s market. It’s busy. But last year I drove my health into the ground. I had an accident that led to internal injuries and an infected organ. I kept pushing. Lambi was ill, and I was up checking on her all hours of the night. I put in a garden, pushed through the early farmer’s market season, pushed myself training my ox, milking, managing and working cattle, etc. By June I was exhausted. I’m not a girl of twenty five, or even thirty five anymore, but I was determined to meet my short term goals.

It’s so easy to do that in life. We jump into something full force and don’t pace ourselves for the long haul. We use gusto instead of technique and consistency. Too often we are the hare and not the tortoise. This year, I’m the tortoise. Shearing, wool, teaching, and writing are my focus. Why? because long term that’s what brings me joy. Long term, that joy and passion bring my success. This year I’m saying “NO” to my little short term goals that don’t align with my long term goals. It’s not easy. I enjoy many of my short term endeavors. But ultimately, they don’t create the life I am intentionally creating.

I challenge you to look at the long term effects of your short term goals. Are you being the hare? Are you wearing yourself out mentally, physically, or emotionally following a path that cares for the moment and not for your life? It’s tough to admit sometimes that what we give our energy to isn’t working. But in the end, having the energy to care for our lives is the kindest thing we can do for ourselves, and for those we love.

In all you do craft no harm,

Moriah

 

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Same sunset from the ridge

 

 

Monday’s Musings: Intention and Failure

The key is leave our hesitation and self doubt behind.

There’s an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation where a character, Data, does everything “right”, with the best intentions, and still fails. While he’s moping in his quarters, questioning himself, his job performance, and goals, his captain, Picard, comes to speak to him. Picard tells Data that even when we do our best with the most noble intention, take every precaution, we sometimes fail. The key is leave our hesitation and self doubt behind. I love that scene.

So often we become emotionally entangled in what we perceive as our failures. We become focused on results. We cease to first exam our intention. We become wrapped up in self doubt and we hesitate to live our highest ideals. We become stagnant, putrid in our own self rejection.

By examing intention before planning or acting we expand our definition of success, and the human experience. If our intention is kindness, mercy, justice, the betterment of society, and wellbeing towards ourselves and others then we are less apt to judge ourselves as failures. We become more mindful of our plans and actions. We measure success not in a promotion or high paying job, but in lives transformed, a kind word, a smile. We measure our success in leaving self doubt and hesitation behind. In short, when we live by pure intention first, our plans may not happen how we desire, but we succeed in living a full and meaningful life.

Until next time,

Craft no harm,

Moriah